For all the flack that single women receive from well-meaning relatives and friends, there is one statement that is guaranteed to ratchet the psychoanalysis to another level.
‘I don’t want children’. Four seemingly innocuous words, but ones that seem to spark several blood pressure rising responses. The first of these is sheer confusion. A furrow in the brow of your colleague or friend who can’t for the life of themselves understand why you would not want to dedicate your every moment to looking after a mini-version of you.
Another favourite is the pity party. This becomes a more common experience for those ‘of a certain vintage’, with the assumption being that you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t want a family to cushion the blow if you don’t meet Mr Right.
But, of all these, the most frustrating by far is the ‘ah sure everyone says that, you’ll change your mind’ refrain. How somebody can be that arrogant to feel entitled to second-guess someone else’s views on life is beyond me.
Is it acceptable to tell a woman trying to get pregnant that she doesn’t really want kids and that she’ll change her mind once she gets knocked up? Last I checked, the answer was no…so why is the reverse fair game?
Right now, I don’t see children on the horizon. Not because I’m scared of not meeting ‘the one’, not because I don’t understand the pros to procreating and not because I don’t know my own mind.
Just because I think it is a wonderful privilege that you should only choose if its something that really want, and I don’t. I like my independence, I like to travel and I’ve just never really been a ‘kids person. Is that so hard to understand?
So next time you’re faced with a single woman who has chosen a life of freedom over the cosy confines of family life, spare the inquisition. If you’re lucky, she might even volunteer for a bit of babysitting!