Partner in a Box

The dating world can be difficult even at the best of times. Finding Mr or Mrs Right means entering a minefield of awkward silences and disappointment. If your New Year's resolutions involve the search for love, this could be for you. With tongue welded firmly in cheek, one Irish broadband operator is offering the ideal New Year's gift. The Perfect Girlfriend in a Box is every sane man's dream ? log-on to her homepage, 'push her button' and watch the perfect girlfriend muse out loud.

'I love ironing', 'I'm thinking about getting a French maids outfit' and 'my Dad's invited us on a tour of his brewery' are some of her memorable orations. Granted, such phrases are not exactly politically correct, so for those of you who find the idea of a girlfriend in a box somewhat demeaning, you could opt for the equally dishy Boyfriend in a Box, who comes packaged with his own vacuum and some choice phrases of his own. 'Why don't you pop out with the girls and I can re-tile the bathroom', 'Why don't we go shoe shopping' and 'I'm a qualified masseur'.

Sounds like the makings of a perfect New Year.

Modern Art

Modern art can certainly be confusing. So if you are lost, why not let the web's latest sensation guide you through the complexity of the art world. Meet Tim, presenter of the online video series 'A Fools Guide to England', a dour yet likeable British 20-something who has become something of an on-line phenomenon.

His meat and potatoes explanations of modern life have caught the Zeitgeist. In his attempt to understand modern art, he visits the Tate Modern gallery in London, which he is convinced was named after television funny woman Catherine Tate, and is currently being converted into a coal burning power plant. He goes on to confuse the gallery's automatic doors, bored tourists sitting on the floor and fire extinguisher for exhibits.

His existentialist view of modern art may cause the critics to despair, but his pithy reviews have lit up the internet. While he seems no more informed on his subject, he has made the rest of us who don't know our arts from our elbows feel a whole lot better.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Tim should have went to Specsavers.

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