Elf Yourself

Showboating his way into our shopping malls, onto our TV screens and even down our chimneys, Santa Claus is never a man to shy away from publicity.

He's the inflatable six-foot centre piece of garish garden installations everywhere, the yo-yo-hoing mantelpiece musical figurine, the man who spawned a merchandising monster, which knows no bounds ? from the Saint Nickleberry Water Globe to the synchronised Light and Sound Holiday Carolers.

The popularity of the man who lives to give is seconded only by the world's only celebrity deer: Rudolph. And further down the North's totem pole are Santa's Little Helpers, the backroom boys who actually make the magic of Christmas.

Slaving in snow, these helpers rarely get much credit, but this year could be different, thanks to 'Elf Yourself', a website offering the 'miraculous ability to turn yourself into an elf'.

To make your elf transformation, upload a headshot of you or your family members and press enter. You'll be taken to a page where your superimposed head becomes part of the whole elf routine.

You can't help but be entertained as you watch yourself and your elfine friends doing the Christmas boogaloo.

Given that Papa Christmas has had all the limelight, it's nice to see Santa's little helpers sharing the stage, but let's not rest on our laurels. The campaign to make the phrase Elfamorphosis an official inclusion in next year's Oxford dictionary starts here.

Bad Game Shows

Christmas and nostalgia go together like mince and pie. The quiz show has been a TV staple since the year dot and, in that time, there have been several bluffs of brilliance and numerous faux pas extraordinaire.

Today's website celebrates the dumbest ever answers on TV game shows.

Come on down, the lady who named the most common rodent as a saxophone, or the guy who thought that the civilization that conquered Britain were 'the Apes'

Needless to say we Irish are not immune. Hands up if you remember the 1970's gameshow 'Quicksilver'. When one contestant was asked for Gandhi's first name she replied 'Goosey Goosey'. Another reasoned that the Capital of France was F. And when one radio contestant was asked for the name of a bird with a long neck, his reply: Naomi Campbell.

Although technically correct, that kind of answer would never bag you the anniversary clock or the coveted star prize: a lightweight electric blanket.

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