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Movie Formulas that must be stopped E-mail
Written by Administrator   
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
The Internet is sending an open letter to Hollywood. More specifically, some people who publish stuff on the Internet are sending an open letter to Hollywood on our behalf. We, the popcorn-munching, taco-crunching, screen-peering masses have been drip fed the same regurgitated movie formulas for far too long and now it’s time to cry ‘cut’.

Whilst we procrastinate, this website investigates, offering up the top six movie formulas which should be stopped and why. 

First up, the movie about a brilliant musician who rises, falls and finds redemption – see Walk the Line, Ray or Great Balls of Fire. Nice idea, but let’s face it, every great musician has gone through this process to get where they are – some of them do it on a daily basis. As the site says – ‘Is there one musician who didn't follow this format? Let's make that movie and break up the monotony a little bit.’

Then there’s the film where the ultra masculine action star gets stuck with a small child or children. Think Arnie in Kindergarten Cop, Hulk Hogan in Mr Nanny or Vin Diesel wincing as The Pacifier.  

The idea of pairing muscle men with tiny tots was briefly a novelty, but not anymore. As we all know, muscle men aren’t supposed to have sensitive sides. Sensitive sides serve no purpose when you’re propelling rockets at rampaging terrorist insurgents and the middle of a blood bath is no place for McAuley Culkin.

Unless that is he’s starring in that other Hollywood fave - the film about psychotic little kids who terrorize adults – see The Good Son, Children of the Corn or the Omen – or better still, don’t, if you think the idea of nine year olds terrorising the neighbourhood is somewhat far fetched. 

Spud Jam

Whilst Hollywood exports tat, we continue to export ‘taters. On Youtube, you’ll find an emotive homage to the humble spud by none other than MC Paddy McDaddy – the Irish gangsta folk artist, who raps thus…  

‘Boil it up, mash it up, make me want to flip
It’s smart in a jacket, it’s cheap as chips
Sautee’s my forte, fries are my style
Waffly tasty and versatile

Don’t diss crisps it’s fly on pie
They can’t see but they still got eyes
What I’m feelin when I’m peelin
Ah it’s so good, potato, the tatty, aka spud’

 


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