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Written by Administrator
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Wednesday, 29 August 2007 |
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From the outset, let's be clear about one thing: I am down with it. I now speak the language of the people - the late night lingo, the ghetto jive, the people’s parlance.
From what foul fountain did such wisdom flow? Look no further than the online home of Everyday English and Slang in Ireland - a comprehensive listing with brief descriptions of all your favourite Irish-isms. For all of those who can't remember the difference between a gurrier (n) lout and a gullier (n) a large marble, or for those who need to be able to recognise a Dickey Dazzler at 12 paces, this is an invaluable resource.
In fact, it’s a big pity this isn't required reading on every campus curriculum. It makes the richness and diversity of our gaelic language pale in comparison.
Even in her fireside prime, Peig Sayers would be hard pushed to find a phrase as Gaeilge to match the resonance of ‘as useless as a chocolate teapot’ and our own unique version of rhyming slang has made the language less mundane.
Consider this.
‘I had an Arthur Power, met the skin and blister then jumped on the Daniel Day, popped into the battle cruiser and finished up with a Bill Murray.’ Stumped? Well here’s the normal translation. ‘I had a shower, met my sister, jumped on the Luas, popped into the boozer and finished up with a curry.’ Go figure.
Computer Breaking
“When you work in a job where you are constantly using computers for long enough, you develop a certain anxious feeling which can pretty much only be cured by beating the hell out of an old computer or two.”
So says Tom Murphy, an old school IT technician who understands there is nothing more frustrating than a computer acting in direct contravention of your wishes. In extreme cases, the forces of logic can no longer be employed – sheer brute force is the only answer.
On his website, Tom recommends some ways of engineering your PCs demise. The keyboard power drill method barely warrants any explanation and surprisingly the formulation Monitor + Hammer = Good Clean Fun doesn’t require any scientific expertise.
If you have any kind of phobias relating to electrocution or a fear of power drills, think twice about attacking your computer. PC destruction should always be supervised by a fully certified, fully qualified lunatic.
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