Ask any single girl what she wants in a man and she will list any number of the following: tall, dark, handsome, funny, girth by length over pi squared, self-sufficiency, bla, bla, bla. But what happens when you develop a penchant for the dark side?

It generally goes without saying that women don't want a man who wears his heart on his sleeve but what happens when you find yourself attracted to a man who wears, ahem, his annus horribilis on his sleeve? Should you seek help? Should you phone a Freudian? Or, is it, in fact, the healthiest move you can make?

Men, as well as women, can't help being annus horribilis-es sometimes, so why try to cut that out of your life completely when we all know it is a losing battle. Instead, apply the Atkins approach to dieting to dating, and give yourself a necessary dollop of the real stuff, the stuff you love to hate. It might turn your stomach on occasion but it will be worth it in the final weigh in.

When he says, 'Yes, your ass actually does look big in that' revel in his brutal honesty and change into something with ass reducing pockets. When he says, 'If I wasn't going out with you, I'd definitely be going after your hot friend', say 'If it's a thrill you're looking for, honey I'm flexible'.

Some women want men to lie to them, the masochist is smart enough to know she can lie to herself and fake it on her own. Not for her the vacant compliment, instead she prefers the lash of a harsh home truth, the raw pain of a verbal slap in the face and the vomit inducing tough love that goes with cold, hard honesty. When the compliment comes, if it comes, it will be all the more sweet, surprising and real.

And the excellent news for the lady masochist is it cut both ways. So, take an hour to dress with impunity, change your outfit 15 times with righteous indignation and never, ever apologise for being late, or God forbid, wrong, or indeed displaying your own bete noir.

But sick ladies beware; the wannabe scumbag has your number. They want you to think they are mean, macho Alpha males a la Gordon Ramsey but the first sign of you wavering on your six inch stilettos they turn to putty, exposing an unsightly soft underbelly you'll find hard to shift. And there's nothing more unsightly than an overweight man in tight lederhosen.