There’s nothing like a good workout to clear the head and shake off the stresses and strains of a busy week.
Forget yoga or a walk on the Prom, sometimes there is no substitute for a serious cardio session, working up a sweat and exhausting all your energy reserves before collapsing in a red-faced heap.
But let me be clear, when I say workout, I am talking solely about the horizontal kind. Study after study has shown that sex is one of those vices that is actually good for you, whether it’s reducing your risk of heart disease or boosting those endorphins. So, when it comes down to it, getting your groove on could actually be a matter of life and death!
While this is one medicine that is readily available when in a relationship, singletons face a slightly more perilous path in getting their recommended quota of Vitamin O.
There are numerous options available, from doing some simple DIY or recruiting an equally footloose and fancy free ‘friend with benefits’ to do the deed but if you’ve seen any rom-com released in the last few years, you will know that the road to such a no-strings arrangement is a rocky one, fraught with peril.
Instead, most of us opt for the more straight-forward approach of adopting a temporary and mutually beneficial union with an attractive randomer. You would think that this would be a fool-proof solution to one of life’s more pressing problems but, alas, no. Much worse than the dreaded ‘walk of shame’, the biggest bane of modern single life is trying to find the most succinct and sensitive way of saying ‘you’ve fulfilled your job description, now get the hell out of my house’.
From ‘I have to go to work’ to ‘my parents are due to visit’, we all have our own favourite phrases to let a pop-up paramour know that it’s time to go home and let you enjoy your post-orgasmic glow with a cup of tea and the Coronation Street omnibus. However, even if both parties are eager to return to their daily duties, it is rare for the ‘morning after’ to pass without some awkward incident of someone halfheartedly asking for a phone number or making small talk about the weather or whether you are going to the Galway Races.
Perhaps there should be some nationally agreed code phrase or ‘safe word’ for such situations? Until then, i’ll stick to my personal favourite: ‘my husband should be home soon’!
